Make that check out for 8,000 lychees, please

Have you checked your calendars yet?

Yeah, you're missing it. I know you are.

How could you? 

Drop the watermelon, strawberries, mangoes and all those old standbys...

And start mingling with the lychees.

Now, if only I could eat them faster.

Ain't no cookin' like momma's cooking. That's right...

There are times when Mother Liang can be more than one or an army of Christine's can handle.
Here are some Academy Award winning moments:

Sundays; wiping around the couch while we are sitting on it enjoying bad Sunday afternoon tv. Let me add to the fact that the tv is also being wiped down. AND THE REMOTE CONTROL. If we just plastic-fied everything, I think life could be slightly easier.

Nights; while watching tv, she will proceed to turn on the laptop, find her asian soap opera and play it. SIMULTANEOUSLY. Yes, sound overlapping is way great.

Weekends; when asian fury strikes after one alcoholic drink. "Mei (She calls me Mei. Sometimes, Mei Mei, to get back to my youthful days), you are having too many cold beverages. Its bad for you. No wonder your skin is bad. All that mixing in there is not good for your health in the long run. In the future, you will have bad aches and pains. You have a big red patch on your neck. I think you're allergic." And this is while I'm standing there making another drink, in front of all my friends. Mom!!! You're embarrassing me!!!

But, despite all of that... Everyday she is one all star mom, with some mvp cooking.

No time is a good time unless its... Hot Pot Time. 

My version of her fish. I think I'm 97% there with this recipe. Although, she always points out my ginger cutting needs improvement. Thinner slices, Christine. Thinner slices! Where did I go wrong!

Shrimp / Chicken Ho Fun. The body's medicinal cure. These noodles can turn away all evil spirits. Yes, noodles can do that. Don't doubt the power of noodles.

And for my Father Liang... he has his high points too. He's on my side. A feaster. The benefits of marrying a well rounded woman. Props to you dad!

The Holiday Weekend of a Million Pounds Gained

The term Memorial Day has become synonymous for the term barbecue blowout. Come on... You know you're guilty of the crime. Buying tons of ice, various brown colored marinades, way too many light beers (just so you can fill up on more hamburgers) and all the rest of that hot weather related food products.

With all of this... How can anyone not enjoy Memorial Day weekend? Throw a beach in there and you have yourself the party of the year. Lucky enough, I had the chance to spend it in Rhode Island on a beach for a feast of all feast with a group of really great people. This was no ordinary feast. It was the "caught red handed loosening up your jean button" kind of feast. There is no doubt in my mind that I could have rolled to work Tuesday morning due to the nice job I did filling out my sides.

The tasty journey began Friday morning...

Donut Plant Donuts! How could one not cry in the presence of these?

I immediately snagged the coconut creme one. I'm no fool. I like coconut and no one can get in the way of what I like (watch out... I bite when it comes to complex carbohydrates!).

The "I can't stop eating these" homemade Vietnamese egg rolls courtesy of Wendy's Mom! She was on full frying duty. 75 egg rolls... That woman was some automatic egg roll dispenser.

Paired with homemade chili oil! She's dangerous alright... Knockout food bully.

You wouldn't believe it... But a clambake followed. Lobster, mussels, clams, corn, potatoes, chorizo and onions. Basically, the point of no return.

The next day was a little easier on those ab muscles (lack thereof I mean)...

A visit to the famous Evelyn's! How did I ever go with the crab cakes over the fried clams? What was I thinking? I guess I like to play against the standby rules.

The crab cakes that I wish were fried clams but still enjoyed cause it's my achilles heel. You still got me good.

And of course, top it off with another local fave... Del's lemonade.

Somebody needs to inform 7 Eleven corporation that this stuff should be legally pumped out in batches in their slurpee machines. No lie. It's a drink that can't be messed with.

And if someone is working on that time machine and finally got it working, please let me know. I'm ready to take it back to Memorial 2009. It's worth all them pounds.

Friends Edition

For women, and we all know this, getting together over food means...

A two to three hour meal (why men are never invited to girlfriend food dates),

A talk of all talks including men/women love status, fashion purchases and non-purchases, the latest skinny on Lindsay Lohan (literally, do you see how rail thin she is these days?),

A few alcoholic drinks here and there

And solid all-star food.

Contestant number 1:

Northeast Kingdom, Bushwick, NY

Two best friends, one intimate dinner and a clean, bare-bones, licked dry plate in the end.

Venison Sausage, Grilled Asparagus & Butternut Squash Puree with a side of Mojito

Chocolate Tort (not pictured)

Contestant number 2:

Macondo, LES, NY

Reunited! The elementary school best friends!

LES ORIGINALS. That's right. We have neighborhood cred.

The setting was definitely a nice escape. The ground could have used the sand and I would be a woman back at the Bahamas again. Porron, pictured above, in the test tube-like pitcher, which pours out wine straight into your mouth in a slow stream-like motion. Shot gunners, this is not your drink. You'll have no patience for this.

Can we get this Porron thing all over town? Drinking wine should always be a spectacle. We were very into it. Porron here. Porron there. Let's Porron it.

I went ahead and got their famous Avocado and tequilla drink.

BIG WINNER! Leave it to the professionals. You can't make this at home without the end result being green gloop. I'll take another, please.

The food wasn't much to talk about. It was along the lines of being "I can't remember what I ate" status. But if you were to pick anywhere to grab drinks, this is your place. All the Latin favorites made to perfection.

I love female dates.

Males. Pick up your A-game.

Must Have More Ginger Beer. Need More Ginger Beer. I am Ginger Beer. Ginger Beer Ginger Beer.

If ginger beer was traded on the stock market, I would put my entire 401k plan in the delicious brew. You ginger beer, is the holy grail of all beverages. You even surpass my love for coconut water, which once was the crown jewel of the land. 

I have always been a ginger worshipper. Being asian, ginger is a prominent ingredient in our everyday cooking. But it was up until my Bahamas trip that I went head over heels for the spicy root. And the locals couldn't support our newfound love even more by making ginger beer and Meyers Dark Rum dirt cheap. The Bahamians were always a step ahead of us in the enjoying beverages department.

While I thought this vacation drink weapon of choice was just a phase, it was brought back to America. In full force. At a costly, premium weekly habit. YOU WILL RUN MY SAVINGS BONE DRY, GINGER BEER. I'M TELLING YOU NOW. YOU WILL BE MY NEW SHOE AND PURSE SPENDING HABITS. I HAVE A PROBLEM. AND IT'S A FIZZY CARBONATED PROBLEM. I'M IN TOO DEEP. 

At the rate I'm going, I'll be a junkie in no time. 

It's time to get brewing. Let's get fermenting.

Easter is not for amateurs

I don't know a thing about Easter. In fact, Im so out of the loop about Easter that the only thing that clues me into this holiday is the massive sale on ham, peeps, fake green plastic grass and jellybeans at the supermarket.

By the way, I totally approve the Reese's easter peanut butter egg. Best masking of an old product into a holiday themed product. Is that product innovation or what? You caught me buying away.

So, for my first Easter ever... I did expect big things. And, big things I did receive! If anyone caught eye of me this morning on the subway... Yes. You are right, my friend. Christine does look 15 pounds heavier. Your eyes aren't fooling you. Don't second guess yourself. That's pure weekend weight. Pure delicious weekend weight.

To start off, we didn't have your typical ham or lamb. We had something on the realms of this:

Raclette > Ham or Lamb > Ham and Lamb combined

A popular feast in Switzerland, vegetables and meat are cooked on the top of the griddle while little serving trays of cheeses are melted on the bottom. The veggies and meat are then dipped in the melted cheese. DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE MONEY? THIS IS STRAIGHT UP $$$. How could anything be wrong dipped in cheese! Switzerland... you have three things going for you. Good looking people, tasty chocolates and the raclette. How did I ever overlook the charm of your country?

Easter sunday was even more glorious. These acts were to follow:

Um.. yeah.. Easter...

I'm all about it. Crown me biggest fan of all time. 

Hangover = Carb Loading

I'm going to be straight up with you. Last night was a brutal night on the liver. Making many rounds with the dark and stormys followed by as many rounds of milk thistle to fix the damage.

But with every Saturday night, I have an even more tasteful Sunday morning.

Sunday can be summed up like this:

Bo Lo Bao, Pineapple Bun for Breakfast

Sesame bagel with smoked norwegian salmon, scallion cream cheese, tomato + onion, Russ & Daughters for lunch

Spring Rolls with Vermicilli, Grilled Chicken with Vermicelli, Etc, Etc Feast!, Nam Son for Dinner

Mint ice cream with cookies, chocolate covered peanuts, coconut flakes, and whatever else I could find under the kitchen sink. Plus, roasted peas and roasted peanuts for dessert. Not pictured for your own protection.

...I'm sleeping so happy tonight.